First of all let's begin describing what I have. It's like something burdening your chest, and you feel like a black hole is placed in the center of your heart. I wrote once: "I'm a black hole and I need physicists to admire my existence.". It's like nothing and no one will help you get through the day, it is a vile feeling. Once I heard a girl describe her depression through a poem she said I think it's not the claw of the bear it's the bear itself, trying to describe how hard depression is, and I absolutely agree with her, depression can be very frightening. I also once wrote, in my heart there is a dead plant. I feel like I have no feelings to show no legacy and no birth of any new ideas, like I'm dead inside. I try to write about depression to express the damaged part of me. How one can struggle everyday hating life and all that comes with it. I wake up everyday wanting to die, I say to myself why not just ease the whole facade of existing and just not be anymore. Die and be at peace, maybe after death there is something pure awaiting me.
I don't know if there is anyone else in this world that can relate to me but it's my best effort everyday to try and produce something novel. I want to be something unique, and never seen before.
Life presents a non familiar kind of stupidity, and it's not wise to try and unravel its depths.
If you still want to pursue with life go ahead.I'll take the advise of one other writer who said, I'll try living life furiously happy. because living life just happily isn't easy.
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