Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

So I finished reading a novel called fangirl. it was a nice novel about a girl's experience ''Cath" who is a twin in college and the difficulties she has to conquer. I thought the story was will-written . I definitely give it a 4 out of 5 stars. I thought it was real and could be related to. I also think that how the main character 'Cath' was introduced to the characters was sometimes sudden but real-like and smooth. When I was in college I wasn't as anti-social as Cath was but I wasn't much of a writer wither let alone a famous one, which is what Cath does, write fanfiction.

I like the character of Levi the most, because he resembles the sunshine and warm embraces, always making an effort to be friendly.

but I didn't really liked how it ends, it was like it was missing something more, another obstacle, or a new resolution made by the heroine of the story. 

What do you think about this novel? was it good or not? Who did you like the most? and you can share a favorite quote as well 

مرض إلاكتءاب

نسير إلى طريق المنزل. وماذا يوجد في المنزل؟ المزيد من الكاءبة بين الحين والآخر لا زلت اتمنى الموت. اتمنى الفناء. العتمة التامة لا بد أنها افضل من هذه الحياة الفانية. اتمنى العدم الذي خلقت منه. اتمنى الزوال من الأرض تماما. اريد ان ابحت عن ما يسر في الوجود؟ هل يوجد ما يدفعني في ان ارغب في العيش؟

انا اريد وانت تريد والله يفعل ما يريد.

قيل مرة ان من عوارض الاكتئاب انه عارض للموت وإحدى عوارضة الأخرى ما يعادل رؤية طلاء الحائط وهو يجف.

في الحقيقة. اريد ان أنفذ من جلدتي لجلدة أخرى. ربما عندها ساتمكن من العيش

Clinical Depression

First of all let's begin describing what I have. It's like something burdening your chest, and you feel like a black hole is placed in the center of your heart. I wrote once: "I'm a black hole and I need physicists to admire my existence.". It's like nothing and no one will help you  get through the day, it is a vile feeling. Once I heard a girl describe her depression through a poem she said I think it's not the claw of the bear it's the bear itself, trying to describe how hard depression is, and I absolutely agree with her, depression can be very frightening. I also once wrote, in my heart there is a dead plant. I feel like I have no feelings to show no legacy and no birth of any new ideas, like I'm dead inside. I try to write about depression to express the damaged part of me. How one can struggle everyday hating life and all that comes with it. I wake up everyday wanting to die, I say to myself why not just ease the whole facade of existing and just not be anymore. Die and be at peace, maybe after death there is something pure awaiting me.

I don't know if there is anyone else in this world that can relate to me but it's my best effort everyday to try and produce something novel. I want to be something unique, and never seen before. 

Life presents a non familiar kind of stupidity, and it's not wise to try and unravel its depths.

If you still want to pursue with life go ahead.I'll take the advise of one other writer who said, I'll try living life furiously happy. because living life just happily isn't easy.

ٍٍSalalah

So lately I’ve been to the ever so green Salalah. It was a short flight since we went by an airplane, about an hour or an hour and a half.

My downloaded list of songs helped keep the boredom away. I brought a book and read one page since I have clinical depression and things don’t always go as I wish or as planned. I keep looking at all the kids there and tell myself how they have great possibilities within. Each child can be something very unique and great if they only shape their character and refine their talents. Anyway, Here is some pictures I have of my latest trip to Salalah:

مخلوقة مقيتة....محاولات شعرية.

أكرهكِ جدا وجدا
وأعلم أن الوصول إلى مقتك يسير 
وأن الإكتفاء من ذاك محال
أكرهك قدر احتراق الشمس 
وبشغفٍ صعب المنال
لا، لا تعجبي أو تهالي
أو افعلي فكلٌ لديّ سواء
فكرهك يخفف ما خلفت من آلام وضغوط
يا أيتها الوحش المبغوض
الموقر المبعوث
لتمزيق القلوب
أكرهك لا لشيء بل أشياء..
منها كونك تمثيل القبح
ومثال الإيذاء
اعذريني ونوبات غضبي
فلم أفي حقك الشروع

في نيل الهجاء

Tell me maybe it won’t be so hard to bear
Tell me and I might care
Say it, and it all could be prepared
Do not confuse them, only to share
Sometimes things are just not fair.
If it is, let it be.
Why is it very hard to see?
How come only you, blind from thee?
Be wise, don’t judge, have sympathy.
Your work is great, but not done fully
One can, one will, one shall
For a dream, for a hope, for a stand. -3roOba