She always have this sort of, internal struggle, of deciding whether she'll have coffee or tea and where to buy some from. She walks from her complex in the usual route to Arts. There is a small cafeteria there, but the coffee there is too sweet. So, she opts to some cardamom tea which isn't really horrible if you keep your expectations to a low level. While she's walking she thinks of her sister, the one that would call her completely silly and not serious enough for college. She might have a point, after all college is not about your preferred beverage. However, for me, Maria, it is.

I don't hate my major but I am not that much of an over-achiever. In other words; I have a life. I am one of those graduates who graduate with a C and take pride of that since they also had a social life. But don't get me wrong I'm not against getting an A. I am all for it. Actually the day I have my A's I prepare a special private party and tell all my friends and family members.

------ to be continued ------

 When I was young I couldn't imagine living in a reality where I'm not going to college or working. Actually, once I have told my sister that I wanted to work already, I was 10. Now I am a freak. I let too many assholes decide how my life should be like. How much I am not entitled too. When in fact living still was something God has decided for me and it was only natural that I continue doing the same tasks and chores everyone else was doing. I like myself a lot, is a phrase that belong to the past. My past, of course. 

Now I spend time listening to music, currently I am fond of Ella Eyre's We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off. I like the lyrics to this song a lot. I feel like the message this song holds is pretty cool. "We don't have to take our clothes off" and we can have a good time some other way, basically I think it tells us we aren't sexual only animals. 

As to series I am still watching Gilmore Girls. I like Lauraly's obsession with coffee, there is not a lot of scenes where she is not holding a cup of coffee. I like how she seems very radiant and always have an un-ending supply of comebacks and witty remarks. I also, like her daughter Rori, she is in love with reading. I would identify myself with both "reading" and "coffee". 

So that's all my electronic diary, the thing is I have to empty the empty. See you.

Dear blog,

I have never started this way before but they say everything has a first. I think sometimes that everything I read play no part in shaping my character what so ever. It could be the quality of the books or the number of pages that turns me off. It's just that lately I don't have the appetite to read any book. It should be normal enough though. 

I want to write this, to feel like I'm able to produce something. My name is known to those who know my true essence. I am like an exotic fragrance that only appeals to certain types of people. I like music, way too much. I also have many addictions, I am addicted for example to sad stories. I am addicted to tea and coffee too. I like to think that once upon a time I was addicted to books too, or let's say to words. I was somewhat of an avid reader, and growing up in my culture you don't have to read that many books to be considered bookish or a book-worm. Now, it seems, nothing can make me happy. I feel like I want to shout, but it might get sucked in a void. 

What was I talking about? Music. I love music, they are one of the sole reasons I have a good English language. 

I feel like I am always tired. Sallaaam. 

Something I wrote lately

Without the brilliance of a good writer, I try to produce something. Whoever convinced me that I can write? *Immense laughter*

 I think the case with me was the fact that I did more than one wrong thing throughout my life. One example of that was the fact that when I was 10 I used to stay up until the first hours of the day, awake throughout the whole night to watch whatever they were airing on TV. It just wasn't right for a kid, I guess, but then I think about it other times and it's completely normal.

I wish I could write something more, like maybe if I had some hidden mental illness; something to explain the unwillingness to survive.

Back to this thorough description.

I have spent too many hours on the internet doing unspeakable things. I resorted to some 'forbidden structure' and it was the best thing I read in my life, I can't call it by its actual name, because then I'd be guilty of two crimes. One, doing the wrong thing, and two spreading it to the world. I learnt a lot from the internet. I learnt that people are not all the same, and that you can learn anything from the internet and that what we do and say in there, stays like a stain on your perfect white dress if you're not careful.

Another thing, I picked up the habit of day dreaming when I was in the seventh grade. It was the worst thing possible, I was a lunatic!

But some good things happened as well. Even though, I say that I have no names to call my own. I do find some identifying me. Like the word feminist. God, the beauty of that name, and that's about it for today!

A demon and an angel.